5 tips to help you when you’re feeling emotional and overwhelmed

I’m sure, whilst you are reading this, you may be feeling as though you can’t see an ending to this anxiety, stress, tearfulness and worry. You may even think it’s pointless trying. You may have even started reading articles just to prove to yourself that there is no way you can change how you feel.

Some days you just wake up feeling emotional, other times it is for good reason such a trauma or something has happened to change how you feel, and sometimes it can just be a low level feeling at the pit of your stomach. It is easy to let negative thoughts and feelings creep in and take over. To talk yourself out of trying anything as you are scared of the future. It is very understandable and you are not the only one who has thought this. Thinking I will always feel like this.

But, none of the above is true!

Your brain is in protective mode and it will keep you in a state of panic to make sure you are alert, should you find yourself in the same situation again. It’s our own natural alarm system telling you to do something and that your survival is at risk.

You don’t have to wait for a doctor or therapist to help you cope when these feelings and thoughts take over. So, here are a few things you can do to help yourself when you are feeling emotional.

BREATHE

This may sound ridiculous, but believe me, when overwhelming thoughts and feelings take over, it’s easy just to freeze. The feeling of panic and fear can get worse. If you focus on your breathing it will not only distract you from these thoughts but also calm you down. Deep breaths in and slowly out for a few minutes will stabilise you. You can find out more about how you can use your breath by reading my article called Acceptance: Breath, an undervalued well-being tool.

Try 4 Square Breathing

1. Breathe out slowly, releasing all the air from your lungs.

2. Breathe in through your nose as you slowly count to four in your head. Pay attention to how the air feels as it fills your lungs and stomach.

3. Hold your breath for a count of four.

4. Exhale gently for another count of four.

5. Hold your breath again for a count of four.

6. Repeat for four rounds.

54321

A common technique for people who suffer from anxiety is called grounding. Look around your surroundings then, do the following.

Say out loud 5 things you can see.

Go and feel 4 things you can touch.

Listen and say 3 things you can hear.

Look for 2 things you can smell; and

1 thing you can taste.

This mindfulness technique keeps you grounded in the present, not focusing on the future.

TAPPING

When you first have overwhelming feelings and intrusive thoughts, you can try a technique we call tapping. Using your middle fingers on each hand, tap firmly 15 times on each of these parts of your body:

The outer edge (karate chop) of each palm, top of your head, the beginning of the eyebrow (just above your nose), the outside of the eye (near your temple), cheekbone under your eye (about an inch below your pupil), just under your nose, halfway between your bottom lip and your chin, just under the collarbone, and side of the ribs (just under your arm, for men in line with your nipple for ladies in the middle of where your bra strap would sit). Then you use each hand to tap the edge of each finger and thumb (near the nail). You then take a couple of deep breaths and repeat the process until you feel calm. This technique may need some practice but is a good one to master.

AFFIRMATIONS

You may think that telling yourself everything is going to be ok sounds delusional. However, what you are actually doing is switching your negative intrusive thoughts to positive ones. Being more positive and a happier person does help your physical health as well as your mental health. Saying phrases to yourself every day will get you in a more positive mindset.

Examples are:

“I can get through this” “I am a strong person both in mind and body” “I am in control of my feelings and thoughts” “I have a good support network”

“I am a good cook” “I have a wonderful family” “I am looking forward to going outside today”

Any positive thought that you can use to replace a negative one is a step in the right direction!

I have complied FREE download of 146 Affirmations for if you, if you are stuck for ideas. Just drop me an email sallie@how2feelgoodnow.co.uk and I will send it over to you.

JOURNALING

You don’t need to be an author to be able to write. Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a surefire way of helping you cope with them. Start by writing down what you have done that day and how you felt at each stage of the day. Take note of any patterns of how you felt and where you were at the time or what you were doing. Writing down what happened to you will help you process it.

This is something you can just do for a little while until you start to feel a little easier about what has happened or how you are feeling. Or, it can be a new part of your daily routine.

Journaling is a very personal account of your day-to-day life. If you want to just keep it for yourself that is fine. You don’t need to share everything. Just remember though that talking about your feelings to family, friends or a therapist can help you.

How 2 Feel Good Now

I hope that you feel ready to start helping yourself on the road of feeling better. Just starting with one of the techniques is a step forward.

When things get overwhelming and you don’t think the techniques are working, then please speak to your doctor and loved ones.

You are not alone!